Inside the Mind of an Emotionally Abused Person

WHAT did IT mean?
Abuse, this word is generally related to the trauma of any sort. Usually when you hear or use this word the first image that pops up in anyone’s mind is of a person with a black eye or a broken nose or any type of injury that was inflicted onto him or her. This is physical abuse, the second thought that comes to our mind is sexual abuse when a person (usually women) has been violated in a traumatic way that not only destroys them but also their body.

But people usually don’t give heed to another type of abuse, the most common type of abuse-emotional. Science defines emotional abuse as a form of abuse, characterized by a person subjecting or exposing another person to behavior that may result in psychological trauma, including anxiety, chronic depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder.

LIFE OF A VICTIM:
A person suffering from emotional abuse doesn’t even know that they are being abused. Because this term has such an extreme connotation of violence that people, especially victims, of emotional abuse cannot even identify it at first.

Emotional abuse makes a person lose faith in their own self, which automatically makes them feel like what is happening to them, how they are being treated is what they deserve. Because they are the ones who are at wrong, it must be their own mistake that they are being yelled at or why they are called names.  Defaming the victim, calling them names or tearing down their confidence is a common pattern of the abuser. The abuser want the victim to feel less than human, like they are smaller than everyone else, like their existence is a burden to them and the world.  The main goal of the abuser at its core is to strip the victim of their self-esteem and gain control of their life.  Manipulation is very common with emotional abuse, when a person twists and turns the narrative to change the story or put blame at the victim or to make them lonelier. Mostly a person is emotionally abused by people who they are really close with; parents, significant other, friends, family.  Hence why it is so hard to accept the fact that they are abusing you, it is unbelievable to think and acknowledge the truth that the person you love the most, who holds such a dear place in your heart is the one abusing you.

LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL:
What can a person do when they finally realize that someone they love so much is mentally torturing them? How can they step up to that person, who has all the control over their life? Without whom how would they survive? The answer to all these questions is the same; belief in yourself. Know that you are your own controller. No one has the right to bully you or have power over you except your own self. Take charge of your life.

Sure it will be tough in the beginning to go against the person who has always been the leader in your life, but after you realize your self-worth you will know that what they were doing to you, how they were treating you, was not love or care. It was controlled, like a puppet master who controls each and every action of the puppet with a string.

The first thing you will have to do is to separate yourself from your abuser, if they are your parents, then move out, if it’s your partner step up to them if you still love them and let them know that you need their love only, not their control. If they accept their mistakes and are willing to change their ways then you will know that they love you too but if they deny it and accuse or demean you, then there is no relationship. If someone claims to love you and don’t even respect you what love is that. Love and respect come hand in hand you can’t love someone and not respect them.

Believe me when I say that it is not the end. After a dark night, there is always a morning waiting, there is light at the end of every tunnel. This is not the end. You were not given this beautiful gift of life to be ruled over by someone else, it was given to you so that you can cherish each moment, live each second in harmony and joy and if anyone wants to take that joy away from you, know that they do not deserve to be a part of this life. Living alone is far better than living with a person who is destroying your soul, taking away your light and your happiness.

Remember, no one on this earth has the power to take away your life without your permission, if you want to do something, achieve something, then go for it. Don’t let one person be the hurdle between you and the possibility of a healthy happy life.

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