Millennials, the kids born between 1980 and 1996, are in their 40s now. The oldest ones, at least. They have long been at the center of the world’s attention because they started to go to college and enter the workforce at the start of the 21st century. They proved that they would revolutionize the entire world order by doing things differently. Parenting was no exception. It’s time to explore the most preferred Millennial parenting styles.
Gentle Parenting is In
Also known as positive parenting, gentle parenting is the go-to parenting style for Millennials. It places a strong emphasis on respect, empathy, understanding, and setting healthy boundaries for kids. The main focus is on encouraing age-appropriate development.
It’s a dramatic shift from the traditional and more aggressive, assertive, and authoritarian parenting styles that their Baby Boomer parents relied on. WIth authoritarian parenting, parents called the shots. They rewarded their kids’ good behavior with fun activities, compliments, and treats. Bad behavior would trigger timeouts and spanking (something child development professionals frown on now.)
Gentle parenting relies on making a child aware of his or her own actions by allowing him or her to be aware of and understand his or her behavior. Millennials tend to act as coaches who guide their kids to doing right and growing up to become good citizens. Baby Boomers tended to act more like authoritarian task masters who wielded enormous authority and control over their kids.
For example, instead of scolding a toddler for throwing a temper tantrum or having a meltdown, Millennials tend to get down to the toddlers’ level and maintain eye contact. Then they calmly tell them that it’s time to go and if they’re late because of their kid, they’ll be angry and their kid will lose some privileges for not acting appropriate for their age.
Some Millennial parents would ask the toddler why he or she was misbehaving. They would then tell the kid that such behavior hurt them and made them anxious. The kid would then be asked why he or she was having so much difficulty acting more maturely.
As you can see, scolding or yelling at the kid just makes the kid more afraid of the parent. Sure, he or she will stop throwing the tantrum or having the meltdown, but that’s purely out of fear of retribution from the parent. The kid will throw a tantrum or have a meltdown again. The reason is that the kid is young and doesn’t understand that tantrums and meltdowns are childish and not good.
The two gentle parenting examples make the toddler aware of his or her behavior. They also give the toddler respect while letting him or her retain control and self-dignity while letting him or her know that such behavior was not okay. The two examples also let the toddler hold him or herself accountable for his or her actions.
The key is to remain completely calm while explaining why a toddler’s or young kid’s behavior is wrong. A calm attitude gives the kid the space to recognize the parent’s feelings while giving him or her the chance to change the behavior quickly.
Gentle parenting only works if the parent remains calm, is analytical and explanatory, and anticipates how the kid will react and respond in advance and plans out how to react and respond to neutralize the kid peacefully.
Gentle parenting is a great parenting strategy, but it can be difficult to implement in the heat of the moment when parents may be rushed, anxious, and even angry. In a way, gentle parenting is taking the revolutionary parenting styles that the Baby Boomer’s parents used on the Baby Boomer generation. Many of the people who became parents immediately after WWII read a popular psychologist, Dr. Spock’s, books.
These advocated that parents should recognize that their kids were real people with real feelings and respect these. They also stated that the centuries’ old ‘kids should be seen and not heard’ and ‘spare the rod, spoil the child’ parenting styles were incorrect and actually detrimental towards healthy childhood development.
Parents Want to Spend Quality Time With Their Kids
Okay, so now, almost no one sits at the dinner table for meals anymore. Most Millennial parents and Gen Alpha and Beta kids just don’t have the time for that. But Millennials still want to spend lots of quality time interacting with their kids. Many Millennials spend time after work or during the weekends bonding with their kids.
Parents Make Sure Their Kids Are Super Safe
Baby Boomer parents let their kids play from outside relatively unsupervised and alone from sun up to sunset. They also parented in ways that would be considered unacceptable and even dangerous today. Millennials are the exact opposite. They want their kids to be safe at all times. That’s why they always buckle their kids up in car or booster seats when going out and make sure to remember to unstrap them and take them out when coming home.
And that’s not all Millennials are careful about when it comes to protecting their kids. The majority of Millennials learn most safety hacks and tips online – from parenting magazines or social media forums. However, information on these forums and in these publications can contradict and confuse parents.
Millennials Block Out Time For Everything
That’s not their fault at all. It’s just a sign of the changing times. The price of things just keeps on going up and good paying jobs are getting harder to find by the day. Most Millennials spend most of their time working and a good chunk of them have second and even third jobs or a freelancing gig to make ends meet.
So, Millennials just don’t have the free time to spend with their kids that their Baby Boomer parents did. So, Millennials now schedule birthday parties, play dates, and other fun activities with their kids during their free time.
Millennials Understand that Kids Only Stay Kids for a Short Time
Kids grow up so fast and become more independent quickly. Millennial parents understand that. So, they are willing to sacrifice much more for their kids than their Boomer parents ever did for them. That’s especially true with trying to secure a more secure and brighter future for their Generation Alpha and Beta kids.
A survey by Forbes Magazine backs that statement up. About ⅔ of Millennial parents are putting money away for their kids’ college educations. By contrast, barely half (47%) of Gen X and 35% of Boomer parents did the same for their kids.
Dads Get Involved As Well
Baby Boomer dads tended to believe that they were supposed to provide for the family financially. They felt that it was the woman’s job to spend time with and take care of the kids. But Millennial dads are much different. For example, they are involved with helping to take care of the kid from before birth.
More and more Millennial dads take an active role in doing things like baby proofing the house, helping with family finances and the family budget, changing diapers, doing some of the feedings, and that’s just the beginning.
Health is Wealth
Millennials realize that health is everything. So, they emphasize healthy eating for their kids.
Millennials Are Revolutionizing Parenting
Millennials are turning centuries’ old tradition when it comes to parenting on its head. They no longer see kids as potential contributors to the family income who can be bossed around easily and have no worth or respect. Millennials see their kids as real people with real feelings that need to be recognized and respected.
