Well, demographers, social developers, sociologists, and even economists may finally have something to cheer about. Gen Zers are finally getting married! Perhaps they shouldn’t be getting so excited so soon. Those born between 1997 and 2010 aren’t going down the isle purely out of love or other idealistic reasons. Economics plays a huge role in deciding whether, when, and to who they get hitched. You’ll learn exactly what that means in this article.
It’s a New Twist on “When You’re 18, You’re Out of the House.”
For decades after World War II, young people were expected to move out of their parents’ houses and forge their own paths–emotionally, individually, and especially, financially. I remember working at a sandpaper abrasives company many years ago and hearing my boss tell me and my co-workers that half of his class got married the year before their senior year because they knew that they wouldn’t be welcome home after they graduated high school.
While far fewer parents turn their kids out after they (the kids) turn 18, many young people are inclined to tie the knot if they can’t rely on their parents to support them financially in their adult years. Yes, Gen Zers are much more likely to marry for money than previous generations.
The traditional contract American society had with its people: work hard regardless of your initial socioeconomic status, and you can excel financially, is fast becoming obsolete. In a way, it’s concerning because that social contract has defined American life and society since before the founding of the first colony–Jamestown.
There’s a Key Reason Why Mr. or Mrs. Right Has to Be Loaded!
Yes, there’s a reason why whoever Gen Zers marry has to be financially well off. American society is fast turning from a society based on meritocracy to one based on privilege. Let me explain exactly what that means by describing a book that Dr. Eliza Filby, a London-based professional who studies how socieities (especially Western) change over the generations.
It was quite popular when it was released last year. Called Interitocracy: It’s Time to Talk About the Bank of Mum and Dad, the book gives profound insights as to how America is fast becoming a society that’s based on and functions off of inherited generational wealth. Filby refers to the new American society as an “inheritorcacy.” in her book.
America, she has observed, is fast turning from the land of opportunity for all, to the land where only those whose parents are well-off financially and who are willing to substantially help their kids out monetarily, will thrive. One of the culprits for that is the fact that inflation has been relentless, especially post-pandemic.
Interestingly, according to Filby, the total wealth that Gen Zers inherit from older people–including from relatives or as an inheritance, and not just from their parents–plays a key role if they will marry to be financially stable.
Most Gen Zers Still Go to College After Graduation, and…
You may have heard about more and more youth going to trade schools, the military, or the work force after they graduate from high school. Unfortunately, about 63%, or a good chunk of them, aren’t choosing that route. Surveys done in October of 2024 indicated that they were attending or enrolled in college. The issue is that college is horrendously expensive and it doesn’t look like that trend is going to change any time soon.
Filby named five major milestones that any generation is expected to realize (collectively) throughout their lives:
- Finishing school
- Becoming financially independent enough to leave their parents’ home.
- Becoming fully financially independent.
- Getting married
- Starting a family
The high cost of higher education and the fact that so many youth are forced to take out enormous student loans to fund it means that most Gen Zers are taking longer to reach every milestone (than previus generations). Some Gen Zers are able to reach every milestone, either on time or earlier than expected. It’s almost always because they had help from their parents.
Are Rich, Upper Class, and Upper Middle Class Americans Starting a Scary Trend?
Filby has observed that well off Americans tend to give their kids trillions in wealth in the form of gifts, property, and hefty inheritances. Unfortunately, all of this showering of their kids with expensive tangible assets, huge plots of property worth several hundreds of thousands to a few million dollas, and hefty lump sums of money is changing, some would say, warping well-off Gen Zers’ perception of love and relationships.
Rich Gen Zers are starting to perceive a loving partner as one who is substantially well off, can provide well for them, and can afford to start a family. And while people need financial stability for stable relationships and family lives, far too many older teens and young adults may be associating the ability to provide financially as a key and sole sign of love.
A New Form of Marriage Similar to the Traditional Arranged Marriage May be Emerging in America
Many to most Westerners think that arranged marriages, which are often accompanied by a dowry (the bride’s family generally pays it) are barbaric. But Gen Zers may be returning to a similar form of marriage. About 48% of Gen Zers have drafted (together) a financial plan before saying, “I do!” So, the brides and their families may not be expected to pay a dowry, but it’s important to remember that many arranged marriages don’t require a dowry.
Perhaps it’s not surprising that more Gen Zers are drafting a formal financial plan to chart their money paths before getting married. After all, they are a cynical generation who believes that marrying simply for love, while a great idea, is foolish to put into practice. Marriages in the West are almost exclusively based on love and they have a high rate of breakdown.
Add to that the fact that it’s almost impossible to survive–either solo or in a relationship–without money, and you can begin to understand why money is so important in marriage to Gen Zers.
